How to stop masturbating
As we talked a lot about how to be productive, I wanted to add another topic: how to stop masturbating. There’s a funny quote I usually have in mind: “maturity is when you are alone and do productive things rather than masturbating”. Masturbation and especially porn addiction can kill our productivity. You may want to be alone but sometimes the temptation is too much; so how to get rid of this affliction?
Is masturbation damaging your brain?
Let’s put it straight, masturbation has no real harmful effects on our bodies. Remember that you are a human being and human beings do masturbate. A solid body of research highlighted that 95% of men and 89% of women have already practiced masturbation. You are not alone so there is no reason to beat yourself up.
That being said, where then lays the problem? Actually, it is the following ejaculation that presents harmful consequences. On the other hand, porn addiction sometimes hides mental, emotional and negative effects.
Porn addiction and masturbation
Hours of HD-porn accessible in a single click: pornography overabundance and masturbation are correlated. As we watch porn, it stimulates the brain as if we have real sex. Porn then activates a strong sexual arousal that leads to even more masturbatory desires. It also releases dopamine and causes a stimulation-reward circuit. Once it becomes a habit, masturbation becomes a daily ritual. And just like any addiction and drug, it is difficult to get out of it.
How to stop masturbating: understand how our brain works
Humans have existed for over 300 000 years. Our body is hardwired to perpetuate our species and make a baby. Our instinct fails to understand that ejaculation doesn’t always involve getting a woman pregnant. You see, when you ejaculate, your body assumes that you want to procreate, give a new life. So all of your organs give their best as they assume you’ll create a new life. Have you noticed some animals even die soon after they spawn? This is why we want nothing but rest and sleep after ejaculation.
If we want to stay productive, we must conserve our sexual energy. Many athletes restrain themselves from any sexual activities the night before an important event. Ejaculation decreases our stamina and kills our creativity. Mike Tyson even claimed not having sex for 5 years!
Ejaculation and productivity
Ejaculation makes you feel relaxed for a moment but the cost later is too high. You not only deplete your body but also lose interest in everything. For example, if I feel energized, ready to achieve any goal I set, a temporary release will kill all of that initiative. David Deida in his book “The way of the superior man” made it clear: “In a subtle way, excess ejaculations will diminish your courage to take risks, professionally and spiritually. You will settle for doing enough to get by, to be comfortable, but you will find that you would rather watch TV than write your novel, meditate, or make that important phone call. You will have enough motivation to live a decent life, but ejaculations drain you of the “cutting through” energy that is necessary to pierce your own wall of lethargy and slice through the obstructions that arise in the world. Your gift will remain largely ungiven.” You can see the importance of learning how to stop masturbating!
Go out and talk to girls
You might tell yourself that it is actually easier to watch porn rather than talk to girls in bars or in the streets. Masturbation is the easy solution. It creates a vicious circle. The more you are alone and the more you want to masturbate.
Ejaculating too frequently causes your loss of energy and libido. Once you ejaculate, you no longer feel the need to seduce girls so you get frustrated and the cycle re-starts all over again. So my question is simple: do you want to end up your life with your hand or with a girl?
Masturbation must be considered as an addiction especially if you consume too much porn videos. And just like any other addiction, your bad habit needs to be broken.
If you are single, start going out and find a new girlfriend. I don’t say that you must find a girlfriend just to have sex though. It’s really up to you if being single suits you better.
Avoid boredom and loneliness at all cost. As you feel the urge to touch yourself, drink cold water or go for a walk to release the tension.
Have a mission and a general purpose in life. If you work on some productive goals, you wouldn’t even have time to think about touching yourself.
Take deep breaths often along the day, this helps you circulate your sexual energy. It is important to touch your tongue to the roof of your mouth as you do this.
Have a hectic lifestyle that gets you think less about sex. Find another way to use your time and energy. Fill your life with new and rewarding activities.
Find a new hobby, practice a sport or go to the gym to change your habits.
Practice a creative activity such as painting, drawing. Monks used sublimation for centuries. By definition sublimation is the act of using the energy from sexual feelings to do something such as work or art.
Give your time to a specific cause and help others. Your sexual energy should be converted into love, the love of giving for example.
Practice meditation as you will control more your thoughts and desires. Meditation also helps with emotional management.
Delete all of your porn videos on your computer and blacklist your once preferred porn sites (and go out of your house more often)
Track down your accomplishments and get a weekly rhythm registration
Join a group or community that helps get over this affliction
Reward yourself in every milestone
Be persistent and patient