Feel The Fear and Do It Anyway
In life, we’ve all faced fear – fear of making decisions, losing loved ones, or starting something new. Susan Jeffers, in “Feel The Fear and Do It Anyway,” shares her own experiences and guides us on overcoming fears to live the life we dream of. Using clear and accessible language, she offers various methods to help us achieve our dreams.
Feel The Fear and Do It Anyway By Susan Jeffers 2007, 223 pages
Chronicle and summary of “Feel The Fear and Do It Anyway”
“Feel The Fear and Do It Anyway” is a globally popular book, selling millions of copies and translated into numerous languages. Susan Jeffers, the author, is a psychology graduate and a renowned conference speaker. With over a dozen books to her name, she has a universal appeal, connecting with people of all ages through relatable anecdotes. Her message is evidently universal and resonates with a diverse audience.
INTRODUCTION: Open the door !
In the beginning, Susan Jeffers shares the inspiration behind “Feel The Fear and Do It Anyway.” She highlights the omnipresence of fear in our lives, affecting our ability to move forward. The guidebook aims to assist those whose lack of self-confidence hinders their progress. Jeffers provides practical advice and strategies to regain control of our lives. The journey starts with acknowledging life’s uncertainties and the fear they evoke. Jeffers, having faced this realization herself, initiated a seminar called “Feel the Fear and Overcome It” to help others. This book, as summarized by Linette, essentially condenses the insights from that seminar.
CHAPTER 1 : What are you afraid of ?
This opening chapter of Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway emphasizes that fear is a universal experience; it impacts everyone, regardless of age, gender, or social status. The chapter aims to help readers recognize and understand their fears. It introduces three levels of fear: common fears such as aging and death (1st level), deeper fears related to exclusion, failure, and self-underestimation (2nd level), and a lack of self-confidence and feelings of incapacity (3rd level). The key methods presented to confront these fears are acknowledging the truth and building self-confidence.
CHAPTER 2 : Fear does not go away
No matter what choices we make, fear will always be present. Even the smallest changes can trigger anxiety and a fear of failure. To break free from the cycle of failure, we must transform our thinking and overcome our ingrained reflexes. Taking action and pushing our limits is the key to progressing and building greater self-confidence.
Maintaining a positive self-esteem is crucial, and self-suggestion can be a powerful tool to convince ourselves that we are capable. It’s reassuring to realize that everyone experiences fear, even the most confident individuals. The key is to train our minds to respond differently over time so that fear gradually loses its power to paralyze us. Being trapped by our fears and avoiding taking any action is the worst outcome.
CHAPTER 3 : From suffering to power
The real challenge is how we perceive fear and its impact on us. When fear persists without being conquered, it leads to suffering. On the other hand, overcoming fear provides a profound sense of personal empowerment.
To visualize the journey from SUFFERING to POWER, create a chart on a large sheet of paper. Begin by marking your current position and regularly update the chart to track your progress. Susan Jeffers offers this simple yet effective technique among many others to help you visualize progress and condition yourself to move toward a state of “power.”
Carefully choosing your vocabulary is crucial as it reflects your mindset. Instead of framing situations as problems, consider them as opportunities. Susan Jeffers provides these key phrases to encourage the use of positive language every day, influencing your mindset positively.
Eliminating negative expressions contributes to building a better self-image, projecting a less pessimistic outlook for both yourself and others. A significant goal is to explore ways to push your limits, fostering increased self-confidence by taking risks and achieving accomplishments that boost your pride.
CHAPTER 4 : Take responsibility !
In this chapter of Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway, Susan Jeffers delves into the concept of “responsibility.” What does it truly mean to “take on one’s responsibilities”? Is someone truly responsible if they spend their time complaining about others?
The answer is no! If you see yourself as a victim, you’re not taking responsibility for your role in your experiences. Susan Jeffers provides seven additional definitions that illustrate what “being responsible” entails. For example, taking responsibility means never attributing who you’ve become or what you’re experiencing to someone else’s fault or external factors. It also involves refraining from self-criticism.
Taking responsibility signifies recognizing that you are no longer a victim and embracing maturity, feeling empowered in the face of challenges. The chapter includes six small exercises aimed at internalizing these principles and becoming the master of oneself. One exercise challenges you to go an entire week without criticizing or complaining about anyone, while another involves creating a list of reasons that hinder your progress toward your goals.
CHAPTER 5 : Be PO-SI-TI-VE !
This chapter of Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway emphasizes the importance of positive thinking. Since 90% of our fears are unfounded, dwelling in negativity doesn’t serve us well. Our thoughts shape our reality, so there’s much to gain from believing in our success, maintaining a positive mindset, and reinforcing it. Susan Jeffers acknowledges the power of words but highlights that positive thinking requires ongoing attention and daily practice. She provides practical tips such as listening to auto-suggestion “cassettes,” reading uplifting books, enjoying soft music, and surrounding ourselves with positive messages.
Towards the end, she offers an “intensive program of positive thinking for beginners” with the assurance that following her advice will lead to a genuine transformation. However, she cautions against using positive thinking as an excuse to avoid reality. It’s about acknowledging that solutions exist even in challenging times.
CHAPTER 6 : The obstacles to you fulfilment
Many obstacles to our personal growth often stem from those closest to us, especially our family.
Primarily, challenges may arise from our partners who may love us for who we are but might struggle to embrace the changes as we strive to become our better selves. This could lead to either a breakup or, in some cases, a partner’s eventual acceptance and support for the personal growth journey. Susan Jeffers shares an illustrative example: a young woman decides to reclaim control of her body and lose weight. Her husband, initially uncomfortable with the transformation, exhibited signs of jealousy, even leaving tempting chocolates around to challenge his now alluring wife.
Susan Jeffers then guides us on dealing with family resistance to the changes we’re trying to make
To accompany us on the journey to success, it’s beneficial to find a mentor and surround ourselves with what Susan Jeffers calls “rare pearls”—individuals who radiate fulfillment, positivity, and have much to offer us!
An indicator of our progress is what Susan Jeffers terms the “pendulum effect”: our mindset fluctuates between periods of passivity, self-mastery, and aggression. This aggression is a positive force that propels us to resist falling back into the complacency that hindered our progress in the past.
To prevent the “pendulum syndrome,” we’re offered a few remedies. Diplomacy with our critics is key; instead of responding dismissively to a concerned family member, we can express self-confidence and help them understand that we seek support, not words that fuel self-doubt. The chapter concludes with a reminder that, above all, we need to be our own best friend.
CHAPTER 7 : The winner choice
Susan Jeffers emphasizes the idea of the “winner choice” as a central theme. Instead of categorizing life choices as “good” or “bad,” she encourages the mindset that all choices are inherently “winner choices” with valuable outcomes, regardless of the results. Our early conditioning to “be careful” and the pursuit of perfection often lead us to avoid potential failures, limiting enriching experiences.
Embracing the belief that every choice is a winner choice becomes a powerful tool to overcome fears and regain control, ensuring that we can achieve our goals despite uncertainties. The chapter introduces a decision-making method aligned with the concept of the winner choice. After making a decision, flexibility and adjustments are crucial, considering the inevitable unforeseen circumstances.
The key takeaway is that consistently making winner choices makes it impossible to make mistakes. What may appear as errors to others are viewed as opportunities. The chapter concludes with practical exercises to implement this approach. For example, the repetition of the phrase “nothing is that important” serves as a reminder to minimize the perceived importance of decisions, even seemingly trivial ones like choosing what to wear, thereby reducing unnecessary stress.
CHAPTER 8 : What is “everything” to you ?
In this chapter of Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway, Susan Jeffers highlights our tendency to confine ourselves to dependencies, often centered around work or relationships. For many, work takes precedence in life, while others prioritize romantic relationships. The challenge arises when a significant aspect is lost, leaving us feeling helpless.
Jeffers proposes a solution: diversify interests and commit fully to each one. By having multiple interests, the loss of one can be buffered by the others, even though the pain of loss remains. If a particular aspect is challenging, the “proceed as if” approach is recommended. An example is shared about Sandrine, who transformed her temporary job into a fulfilling role by applying Jeffers’ principles.
The chapter concludes with a practical exercise to implement the advice. It involves creating a square divided into nine boxes, each representing something loved and desired. By categorizing aspects like “Family,” “Love interest,” “Friends,” and “Passion,” individuals can visualize the components that truly bring fulfillment. This exercise reinforces the idea that if one aspect disappears, there are others to enrich one’s life.
CHAPTER 9 : Say “YES”!
To overcome our fears, the key is to embrace the philosophy of “saying yes to the universe.” This involves acknowledging and accepting the uncertainties in our life journey. Suffering, deemed a “necessary evil,” is an inevitable part of life, offering valuable lessons.
Resistance to suffering is counterproductive and can hinder our growth and fulfillment. Susan Jeffers underscores the importance of recognizing that progress and living a meaningful life require consistent practice and training. Developing patience is crucial, and the initial step involves affirmatively saying “yes to oneself.”
CHAPTER 10 : Give !
Are we truly generous? That’s the question raised in this chapter, and it prompts us to reflect on our sincerity. Often, genuine giving is rare, as many people expect something in return.
The obstacle to authentic generosity is, once again, fear—the fear of not receiving reciprocation, the fear of unmet personal needs. Learning to give involves being altruistic and overcoming these fears.
Expressing gratitude, even to those who may have hurt us, is a part of this process. It’s about understanding, spending time, and sometimes, offering financial support.
To reinforce this concept, the chapter in Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway suggests an exercise: keep a notebook to record positive events, both those anticipated and those already experienced. This practice helps us recognize the richness of our life, not just in material possessions but in positive experiences.
CHAPTER 11 : Cultivate the “Superior self”
This chapter of Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway explores the concept of the “superior self,” a notion rooted in transpersonal psychology. Transpersonal psychology suggests that our connection to our true self can be lost when we become overly focused on external factors. To counter this, the chapter encourages recentering oneself and cultivating awareness of spirituality.
The “superior self” is portrayed as an aspect of our subconscious that harbors only positive ideas such as love, goodwill, and affluence. Trusting our intuition, in essence, involves listening to this “Superior self.” According to the text, our subconscious acts as a translator for the Superior self, connecting to the energy of the Universe.
Towards the end of the chapter, various psychological themes are introduced, including psychosynthesis—a technique for resolving internal conflicts—and guided visualization, a tool to reveal hidden negative aspects of our personality. Awareness of these aspects is seen as a crucial step towards personal improvement.
CHAPTER 12 : Looking ahead
The final chapter of Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway serves as a reminder that conquering our fears requires continuous learning, perseverance, patience, and the willingness to take our time. Impatience, likened to climbing a steep mountain, can lead to stress, dissatisfaction, and ultimately, fear. The analogy suggests that despite challenges and obstacles, gradual progress reveals a broader and more beautiful view. The key takeaway is to take control of our lives, fear less, and embrace the courage to dare.
Review of “Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway”, by Linette from the “Lire en Nuisette” blog:
The individual came across “Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway” unintentionally while searching for self-confidence resources online during a challenging period in life. Faced with job loss and the arrival of their first child, they found themselves at a crossroads, unsure of a new direction. The book, filled with positive ideas and practical suggestions, played a transformative role, inspiring courage, and alleviating the fear of failure. This positive impact prompted them to launch their own blog.
While acknowledging that not all exercises need to be completed to grasp the benefits, they noted that the concluding sections seemed repetitive, especially in revisiting the concept of positive thinking covered earlier. They expressed reservations about Chapter 11, perceiving it as an explicit display of the author’s psychological background. The psychological ideas presented were considered less impactful, with a suggestion that the author could have recommended other books covering these concepts, focusing more on themes resonant with the reader.
Despite these observations, the individual concluded that the book is essential for those seeking to rebuild self-confidence and credited it with awakening them to take action.
The book Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway has several strengths, such as presenting numerous practical exercises and methods, offering relatable concrete examples, and being easy to read due to Susan Jeffers’ direct and respectful communication style. However, it has weaknesses, including repetitive discussions on the topic of positive thinking that may feel redundant, and a somewhat complex Chapter 11 that doesn’t provide significant new insights for the reader.
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