How to let go using the hooponopono method

How to really let go?

Discover the Ho’oponopono method

How to let go?

Let me share with you an ancient Hawaiian method.

The word will probably make you smile just as when I heard it for the first time.

It’s: “Ho’oponopono”

In a previous article, I talked about How to let go of the past? In a similar way, Ho’oponopono will help you to create more inner peace and live a better life.

how to let go

What is Ho’oponopono?

The expression Ho’oponopono derives from the Hawaiian “Ho’o” and “Pono” which respectively means “to begin an action” and “living in balance, forgiveness and purity of heart”.

By definition, it means recreating the universal order. In a sense near to forgiveness, it is similar to harmonize, cleanse and put things back in order. Recreating that universal order refers here to the universal within us: we must be responsible and take our “universe” into our own hands.

This Hawaiian method suggests that at a fundamental level, we all are responsible for our own lives. It includes an entire responsibility for our actions and for our inner peace. Taking responsibility excludes any blame and other forms of victim-mentality.

What does being responsible mean? As humans, we are the creator of our physical universe. Everything that we encounter in our lives is just a reflection of something within us.

According to the Ho’oponopono method, we are the creator of what happened to us and everything in our lives. Subsequently, we can also influence our existence by changing our thoughts and by acknowledging our responsibility for creating that reality.

It requires certain humility to accept that our thoughts are the source of most of our problems. It also encourages us to take responsibility for them. But here is the good news: by changing our thoughts, we can ultimately change our reality.

How to let go and what does the Ho’oponopono do?

Concretely, the main purpose of the Ho’oponopono method is to be free of all memories, especially negative ones.

According to the Ho’oponopono, we all have memories with which are attached positive and negative emotions. These memories are stored in our subconscious mind. The same memories express themselves in our lives and show up as challenges, illnesses, and encounters.

The manifestation of these memories can be positive or negative but it always aims at guiding you in your life. Unconsciously then, we attract everything that happens to us because it can be a lesson, a guide.

It is important to highlight that these memories don’t only come from our current life. They can also come from our past, from our prior incarnations and even from our ancestors.

We said that the main goal of this method is to be free of all memories.

All of us bring lots of memories since the beginning of your creation. If you don’t believe that, just look at yourself in the mirror. Now, your nose is for example exactly similar to your far far far grand-father maybe three or four generations ago.

To live serenely, we need to free ourselves and even get rid of all these memories. The ho’oponopono method does exactly that: it cleanses.

how to let go of anger


“This ancestral Hawaiian practice helps us better understand the circumstances in our life”

The ho’oponopono method draws attention to the fact that we cannot change others. Actually, the only place in the universe that we can really change is ourselves. This ancestral Hawaiian practice helps us better understand the circumstances in our lives.

We might have conflicts, deal with an intense emotion or go through difficult situations. By reciting a specific formula, we learn to let go and shift away from what is happening.

How to let go: Explanations of the formula

Past the why and the theories, by now, you might wonder how to clean up these memories.

There are four sentences that we use as purification mantras: “Sorry, sorry! I love you, I love you! Please forgive me! Please forgive me! Thank you! Thank you!

Sorry: We are sorry for being the creator of this event. We also acknowledge and observe the situation we are in. We don’t resist but rather accept it.

I love you: Here we show that we love life. The energy of love will erase that memory. We can only have one thought at a time. By repeating this mantra, we remain positive and avoid negativity.

Forgiveness: As Buddha said, resentment is like drinking oneself a poison and expecting the other to die. It is like holding tight a hot coal in one’s hand. We need to let go and we do that by forgiving ourselves and by forgiving others. Forgiveness liberates the giver and the receiver; it also helps everyone to be freed and find peace.

Thank you: Here, we are thankful for the challenging event because it reveals a past memory we need to deal with. We were not aware of that unconscious memory and we are grateful that it manifested. Here, gratitude reinstates positivity. As we go through a difficult time, we can always try to find the hidden lessons behind. In the end, these challenges help us grow and become who we are meant to be. The biggest changes in our life usually come from the greatest challenge and we have to be thankful.

How can we do this? 

According to Marie-Elisa Hurtado-Graciet, it is important to understand that it is above all a process.  These memories are stored in our subconscious, which we can associate with our emotional part.  There are also other memories belonging to what Jung called the collective unconscious and to which we are also connected.  Our mind helps us to analyze situations and make decisions, but it is not aware of our memories and cannot be of much help to us.  It is then a matter of “addressing the “spiritual part” within us which is always connected to what some will call the Spirit, and others God, the Source or the Universe.  It is this energy that will cleanse the memories,” says Maria-Elisa Hurtado-Graciet.  The idea is to entrust the liberation of these memories to that part within us.  The most difficult thing is then to let go and trust.

For this, we can help ourselves with a mantra that perfectly synthesizes the process: “I am sorry because I did not know that I had these memories in me.  I am sorry, through the gift, I make the offering of these erroneous thoughts and thus give my consent for them to be corrected.  Thank you, for I will be able to release these memories.  And finally, I love you, for it is through the energy of love that I will be able to free them.  As Maria-Elisa Hurtado-Graciet points out, this is not a magic formula.  The important thing is to act in consciousness.  Ho’oponopono can then boil down to saying “Thank you, I love you”.  You can use this mantra at any time of the day, in the morning when you get up.

how to really let go

How to use it in your daily life?

Create a habit

The best way to create a habit is to identify other habits we already have. We “stack” the new habit onto older ones and use them as a reminder.

For this, find a recurring event in your daily life. Maybe, every morning, you take a shower at 06:30 am. You can use that event as a trigger for your new habit: implementing sthe ho’oponopono method.

When you shower, repeat the mantras of purification listed above.

In challenging situations, whenever a problem occurs or when negative emotions step in: cleanse

As you practice this long enough, it will gradually become a reflex.

How to let go: Clean all memories

The Ho’oponopono practice must be done consistently, not only when a specific problem occurs. We have to do it for every memory at every moment. We then do it for situation in the past, present but also in the future.

In a nutshell

We can use the method anywhere, anytime and in every situation. There are however particular situations in which it can be far effective to call for the Ho’oponopono power. For example, we apply it during a challenging situation that requires us to be as present as possible.

The mantras are particularly favorable when we live a tense situation, in an argument or when we recall a traumatic experience. When these events arise, simply detach yourself from the situation and keep the mantras in mind: “Sorry, I love you, forgive me, thank you”.

If you seriously do this exercise, you will experience a release of tension, as if you feel lighter. Joy will follow and inner peace will be yours, as long as you cleanse, repeatedly.

The Ho’oponopono can help you:

  •       To manage internal conflicts
  •       Reorganize your life
  •       Relieve tension and reduce stress
  •       Reinstate positivity and gratitude
  •       Get rid of negative ideas and old limiting beliefs
  •       Become more present in the moment
  •       Take full responsibility for our life
  •       Find inner peace
  •       Find and live our real self


The Hawaiian healer and shaman Morrnah Nalamaku Simeona said that “all human beings are weighed down by their past and whenever a person feels fear or stress; they should take the trouble to observe it inside themselves.  We saw that the cause of our discomfort usually comes from one of our memories.

For Maria- Elisa Hurtado-Graciet who largely wrote about the Ho’oponopono method “A memory is an unconscious program, created by an event that a person or sometimes even their parents or ancestors experienced in the past.  It is at the origin of beliefs, emotions and fears through which the perception of reality is distorted”.  They prevent us from accessing reality as it really is and from being who we really are.  By gradually “cleaning” these memories with Ho’oponopono, we will discover our real identity.

Every destabilizing or annoying situation is an opportunity to cleanse the memories that may resonate with it.