{"id":1917,"date":"2020-09-01T19:18:01","date_gmt":"2020-09-01T19:18:01","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.sitrakaratsimba.com\/?p=1917"},"modified":"2023-09-13T09:27:34","modified_gmt":"2023-09-13T09:27:34","slug":"crucial-conversations-summary","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.sitrakaratsimba.com\/fr\/crucial-conversations-summary\/","title":{"rendered":"Crucial conversations summary"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Crucial conversations summary<\/b><\/h1>\n

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\"crucial<\/p>\n

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Chapter 1: What\u2019s a crucial conversation? And who cares?<\/b><\/h2>\n

The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.<\/b> \u2014GEORGE BERNARD SHAW<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High is an amazing book by Al Switzler<\/a>, Joseph Grenny<\/a>, and Ron McMillan<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n

Crucial Conversation by definition is a discussion between two or more people where (1) stakes are high, (2) opinions vary, and (3) emotions run strong.<\/span><\/p>\n

The crucial conversations the authors are referring to are interactions that happen to everyone. They\u2019re the day-to-day conversations that affect your life.<\/span><\/p>\n

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\"crucial<\/p>\n

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Despite the importance of crucial conversations, we often back away from them because we fear we\u2019ll make matters worse. We\u2019ve become masters at avoiding tough conversations. We use all kinds of tactics to dodge touchy issues. We act in self-defeating ways.<\/span><\/p>\n

When conversations turn from routine to crucial, we\u2019re often in trouble. That\u2019s because emotions don\u2019t exactly prepare us to converse effectively. Countless generations of genetic shaping drive humans to handle crucial conversations with flying fists and fleet feet, not intelligent persuasion and gentle attentiveness.<\/span><\/p>\n

Most of the time, we simply avoid crucial conversations. The choice is ours, we can face them and handle them poorly or we can face them and handle them well.<\/span><\/p>\n

Examples of crucial conversations<\/strong><\/h3>\n

– Ending a Relationship<\/span><\/p>\n

– Talking to a colleague who behaves in an offensive manner and makes inappropriate comments<\/span><\/p>\n

– Asking a friend to repay a loan<\/span><\/p>\n

– Gives feedback to the boss about his behavior<\/span><\/p>\n

– Approaching a boss who does not respect his own safety or quality rules<\/span><\/p>\n

– Criticize the work of a colleague<\/span><\/p>\n

– Asking a roommate to leave<\/span><\/p>\n

– Resolve support or visitation issues with a former spouse<\/span><\/p>\n

– Managing a rebellious teenager<\/span><\/p>\n

– Talking to a team member who is not living up to his or her commitments<\/span><\/p>\n

– Discuss problems with sexual intimacy<\/span><\/p>\n

– Confronting a friend about a substance abuse problem<\/span><\/p>\n

– Talk to a colleague who keeps the information or resources to himself or herself<\/span><\/p>\n

– Give a negative assessment of performance<\/span><\/p>\n

– Asking in-laws to stop interfering in family life<\/span><\/p>\n

– Talking to a colleague about personal hygiene problems<\/span><\/p>\n

The law of crucial conversations<\/b><\/h3>\n

At the heart of almost all chronic problems in our organizations, our teams, and our relationships lie crucial conversations\u2014ones that we\u2019re either not holding or not holding well. Twenty years of research involving more than 100,000 people reveals that the key skill of effective leaders, teammates, parents, and loved ones is the capacity to skillfully address emotionally and politically risky issues. Period<\/span><\/p>\n

In summary, people who routinely hold crucial conversations and hold them well are able to express controversial and even risky opinions in a way that gets heard. Their bosses, peers, and direct reports listen without becoming defensive or angry.<\/span><\/p>\n

On perfecting your communication and negotiation skills, people also read:<\/p>\n

Getting to yes summary<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n

Never split the difference summary<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n

Chapter 2 \u2013 Mastering crucial conversations: the power of dialogue<\/b><\/h2>\n

The authors talk about Kevin who was the only one of the eight vice presidents in his company to be identified as exceedingly influential. His influence stems from his ability to approach crucial conversations.<\/span><\/p>\n

While most people don\u2019t dare directly confronting their bosses, Kevin doesn\u2019t but he does it in a particular way. Kevin\u2019s colleagues for example would resort to silence. He would play no games or tricks; he would even less try to force his arguments on others. Somehow he managed to achieve absolute candor, but he did so in a way that showed deep respect for his boss.<\/span><\/p>\n

The fool\u2019s choice<\/b><\/h3>\n

Kevin became influential because he is among the people who avoid the fool\u2019s choice.  His colleagues on the contrary went silent because they thought they had to make a choice between two bad alternatives:<\/span><\/p>\n